Email: angelskuuipo@yahoo.com
Pairing: Angelus/Willow
Rating: pg-13/R (references to bdsm and torture)
Distribution: Check me out! Some of my stories are now archived at Souls in Peril. Thanks Missy! Also Red's Soulmates and Vampire Haven can have any of my stuff. Anyone else just ask. I'll say yes, just want to know where it's going.
Disclaimer: I bow to the altar of the genius that is Joss. Angel and co. aren't mine. I'm only playing and promise to return them when I'm done though Angel will probably be late; he's such a nummy treat. No insult, infringement, or injury is intended.
Spoilers: up to and including 'Passion'
Feedback: Crave it like the little praise whore I am.
Author's Note: This is a sequel to 'Cautious'. Again this is unbetaed so any mistakes are solely mine. *Big waves* to everyone who's sent me feedback on the other pieces in the series. Thanks so very much, especially Gabrielle whose Dollhouse series played a part in the format for this. You're the best. For Rosa: thank you, thank you, thank you for your help with CT. *Sends big hugs over the net*
Summary: Angelus' thoughts
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Progress: a forward or onward movement as to an objective or to a goal, gradual betterment. I'm making progress with Willow. I am also in hell, a hell of my own making, but still hell.
Two weeks. It's been two weeks since I've touched Willow and I am going out of my mind. The first week was torture enough lying in bed with her every night and not reaching for her and tasting her, taking her but I managed to restrain myself. That's over now, but it just hasn't seemed the right time to take that next step.
We've talked. God have we talked. And you know what? I like talking to Willow. My boy is the only other one around here I can hold a decent conversation with. The three of us together will have some grand times. But I don't just like talking to her; I'm beginning to like her.
She smiles when I come into the room now and doesn't cringe in terror when I draw near. She's much more relaxed around me than I ever saw her around her friends. She asks me questions that I'm not ready to answer yet so I ignore them which frustrates her I know, but like I said, I'm not ready to answer them. I don't exactly know the answers.
Could someone tell me again why I'm doing this? Oh right. I fucked up a month and a half ago and now I'm trying to fix it. I'm supposed to be using Willow to destroy the Slayer. I'm supposed to be destroying the Slayer because she made me feel human.like Willow does. I have no desire to destroy Willow. I just want to make her mine.
Buffy. She and the whole gang have been a major disappointment to me since I took Willow. Oh they were frantic enough for the first week or so trying to find the little hacker, but I've watched them every night and they're moving on. They've got the wolf doing the computer work for them, which pleases the Watcher and it appears they've found a witch, Amy I think is her name, to help them as well. The moron seemed to be the only one interested in still searching for Willow until last week. Seems he and the cheerleader finally got pelvic and well, let's just say he's been preoccupied. And my little heartbroken Slayer has a new boy toy that's taking up a lot of her free time. Here I thought she and the soul had that forever kind of love that makes me want to hurl and she would pine away for the rest of her days. Ah well, young hearts are fickle that way.
The shine has worn off on my previous plan. My focus has shifted. I almost feel bad for my little redhead. Almost. Her friends' lack of concern works to my advantage. I just need to figure out the best way to use it. Maybe I'll tape a couple of their research sessions, or some of their many trips to the Bronze and show them to her. I need to talk to Spike.
My boy and I have reached an understanding. I let him feed from me to help him regain his strength and he's stopped sniping at me about killing the Slayer. I haven't told him that I plan to use her blood to fully heal him, that's a surprise. He's been asking me questions about who I've got locked up in my rooms. That's a surprise too. I'm not quite ready to have them meet.
Willow looks so pretty sitting by the fire reading. I'm going to have to make a move soon. I'm not used to denying myself anything and yet I can't bring myself to take my ease with Dru. She just doesn't appeal to me anymore. No amount of fantasizing could make her mouth and body warm or innocent. I'd love to be with my boy, but not until he's healed.
I definitely need to talk to Spike and I need to hunt. Maybe a good violent kill will clear my head.
As I stand up Willow looks at me curiously over the edge of her book. I can't resist so I draw her up and kiss her fleetingly on her lips.
Cupping her cheek in my hand I look into her big green eyes and whisper, "Soon." Then I make myself turn and walk out the door.
Soon. That word encompasses so much.
I am making progress. I'm just not sure towards what.
The end